I was working with a client yesterday who is talented, driven and efficient. This client is one of those people who, if you added them to your team, would make the world a better place and get it done in half the time while managing to do it in a way that serves others. This client is also exhausted.
For many people the serving of others is often at the expense of self and they’re willing to go past the boundaries which keep them energized and enthusiastic. I’m talking about crossing personal boundaries as we react to each and every request with immediate response. This reactionary serving creates chaos and confusion and certainly does not help maintain balance.
One of the ways in which I suggest to people to add balance is to learn that you are WORTHY of a pause!
Webster’s Open Dictionary shows the following meaning for the word pause (noun):
1: a temporary stop
2 a: a break in a verse b: a brief suspension of the voice to indicate the limits and relations of sentences and their parts
3: temporary inaction especially as caused by uncertainty : hesitation
4 a: the sign denoting a fermata b: a mark (as a period or comma) used in writing or printing to indicate or correspond to a pause of voice
5: a reason or cause for pausing (as to reconsider) <a thought that should give one pause>
Here are some tips for adding pause into your life – or a temporary stop to reactionary chaos!
1. When asked a difficult question requiring you to make a significant decision; a fair response is:
a. “You have given me a lot to think about, can I get back to you next week?”
2. When criticism is tossed your way either in person or in email; consider this response:
a. “Thanks so much for letting me know how you feel. Why don’t I take a day or two to think about it and perhaps we could meet to see how we can find some common ground”
3. Lunch Hour / Meetings / Social gatherings with friends:
a. Take the Blackberry and turn off notices, or put it away or better yet, leave it in your car. There are few TRUE emergencies which occur that cannot be solved AFTER an hour or two. Being present in the moment is a great way to pause and re-energize.
4. When you’re asked to deliver something immediately in your already packed schedule; negotiate:
a. “You want that on Tuesday? Sorry I am jam-packed this week, will Thursday work for you?”
b. If it’s your boss, “Happy to get that to you, would you mind helping me prioritize the most important of the 3 tasks you need done right away and what can be put on hold?”
You are WORTHY of a pause, your time, your energy and your home-life are all worthy of taking pause. Stop temporarily; get back to people on major decisions; negotiate your time; be present in the moment; ask for help. All of these are strategies for maintaining authentic balance in your life.
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Strategic Sense is a Leadership Development, Plans of Action and Facilitation organization who’s mission is to change the world for leaders and their employees everywhere. We believe each individual comes with their own unique talents and skills that can be enhanced and utilized to help them become the very best leaders only they can be.
Hi,
I know what you mean about taking the time to pause. It is, unfortunately, underrated. We need to react, adjust, strike, move, dodge, penetrate… and we need to do it urgently; to do it NOW!
Pausing can give you space to make a better decision, it can give you time to consider, to mull-over, to PLAN.
No matter what business you are in if you are moving faster than the speed-of-thought you wont be able to sustain the effort and you run the risk of leaving people behind and of burning yourself out. It’s not about the number of decisions that you can make in an hour, its about deciding which decisions deserve the time to get it right.
If you develop a culture of making great decisions (and taking the time to do it well) you will be less likely to make the real clangers that eventually end up chewing up time, energy, relationships and, ultimately, your (business) health.
There are plenty of tools out there that can improve our efficiency – but if we are efficiently moving in the wrong direction, all that means is that we are getting better at getting further away from where we should be.
Thanks for another great post. I really enjoy you bog.
Jason.
Thanks so much for adding this link to my RT on Twitter. I am so with you on pausing because “you are worth it.” I plan what I call mini-breaks in a day. By writing one or two into my daily schedule, I bring so much more balance to my life. These are actually pauses that refresh. 🙂
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