In work as in life, being present is not always possible…

[Post Update: from May 2011-January 2014 my mother fought an amazing battle with some pretty harsh illnesses.  It was my honour to make myself as available as possible to assist in any way that I could.  It is my intention to live out her message, and that message is to embody peace.  Missing that lady with all my heart!]

And I have been absent.  By the team or the client, absence is sometimes misconstrued as your having dumped people and responsibilities without out care or concern for their well-being, even when the absence has been unplanned and  impossible to manage.  Life throws some pretty big hits at people sometimes and when it does you’ll tend to do a resetting of priorities.  Not everyone will like them, not everyone will be on your side with them, and some priorities may cause you to be absent in your role as leader.  When this happens, the team members and clients are not the only ones affected.   For an often engaged leader, the one folks depend on and have trusted, absence eats at their very heart more than the team or client will ever understand.

Life is about priorities…

We set priorities every day and our grown-up choices cannot always follow our dreams and desires.  Parents quit their jobs to take care of ailing children, people leave big corporate to focus on community, folks take on the care of a sick parent and these are just a few of the life-changing priorities that may come into a person’s life.  No matter what the choice is, all choices are good because they are yours.  Some are influenced by tragedy, some by desire and yet others by love, either way a person’s priorities land front and center and can leave others feeling abandoned.

Not everyone will like it…

Any time you reset your priorities, it’s going to shake up the lives of those around you.  People to whom you were once freely available will feel hurt, people who depended on you for your old priority will be frustrated and others will feel your absence has eroded their trust.  The best you can do is try to explain and hope they compassionately empathize with your moment in time, and when that is not good enough, the best you can do is stand firm knowing you are doing the right thing for you.

It’s just  the right thing to do…

Does it make you a bad leader?  It can in the eyes of a team member or two, perhaps.  The thing is, when people are hit by a reset of priorities, when life has offered them a chance to do the right thing for one person it might be the wrong thing for another.  Off and on over the last year I have been blessed to spend some time helping my mother who has been very ill.  Our loving, caring family have almost lost her 4 times, it has been a wild roller coaster ride of fear, love, sadness, promise, tears, hope and finally elation that she is now gaining strength.  In that time some things have fallen through the cracks, my reputation for being always on, always available and provide a fast turn around may need to be rebuilt…but…

I’ve no regrets…

This priority reset is opportunity to honour the parents I love, by using the flexibility life has afforded me as an entrepreneur to be able to provide a little assistance.  I do not and never will regret this choice.  I can only hope that as things begin to settle down and life starts to return to what will be the new normal that those people I have been open and available to in the past will understand.  In return, I will understand that each of them must meet their own priorities and if they are absent upon my return, it is because they are honouring their own lives, and that is all anyone can ask of another.

Just many thanks!

To those of you who have prayed, sent messages of kindness and who have continued to understand, I am in deep appreciation for your role in my life.  Whether friend, client, team member, family, or acquaintance – your part in helping me stand by this priority has allowed me to focus on two people who have made my life what it is, my parents.

Thank you.

In work as in life, being present is not always possible…Life is about priorities…Not everyone will like it…It’s just  the right thing to do…I’ve no regrets…Just many thanks!

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