Do you ever hide from the world?

I do, my friends recognize when I hit ‘cocoon’ mode and will make an effort to see what is up with me and have done it all my life.  Why might I cocoon?  There are several possible reasons…

1. I am overwhelmed and need to put some order and balance back into my life.
2. I am working hard at something and it takes focus, attention and time.
3. There are private reasons I may wish to apply all of my energy to my family.

For an entrepreneur, it can mean you are even deeper into cocoon mode, but for a different reason.

1. You are dedicated to success for your company and that requires attention 24/7 on many days.
   

Does that cut into the social life?  You bet your bottom dollar it does! Does it change the way the friendship is acted out? Uh huh!

Here are some assumptions people make when an entrepreneur is hard to connect with….

1. Friends assume they’ve done something wrong and you are angry with them.
2. Friends might assume you don’t care about them anymore.
3. Friends might even believe you’ve found other more interesting people to spend your time with.

That may or may not be true for the average friend working at a regular paid job.  However, in the world of an entrepreneur chances are that friend is dead wrong!

Here are some reasons an entrepreneur might not be socializing with you the way you want:

1. Unlike other working gigs, owning one’s business will keep an entrepreneur working day and night.  Their mind is never off of work and that is because THEY are solely responsible for bringing in the cash to support their life (and pay their bills). This means giving up a lot of extracurricular activities they have enjoyed with you in the past because they must not only do what they do but also market, promote and sell it.
2. When one puts in an 18 hour day at something, family MUST be the first priority.  Time is short and families are precious – this is an admirable quality, families need each other, it doesn’t mean they’ve dropped you.
3. Networking events are vital, this is where entrepreneurs meet the people who pay for the products or services they deliver.  Networking events are important and necessary.  They are already hard enough to fit into an 18 hour work day and use the time they would otherwise spend enjoying at a BBQ with you – stop making them feel guilty for missing the BBQ.

So, what of balance, you say?  Let me share a little secret about entrepreneurs…

1. They do what they do because they LOVE it, so 18 hours a day of something they love is a whole lot more fun than 8 hours of dreary and stressful.
2. While they work harder as entrepreneurs than they ever have as employees of another company, they know they have flexible holiday time, learning opportunities they never before expected, and they feel like they make a difference to others.  This gives them a charge, and it is important to them.
3. Entrepreneurs DO miss you, their friends, they do wish for more time with you and other friends, they simply have a driving need to reach their dream.  They need a few things from their true friends:
   1. They wish for you to understand and care about what they are trying to do
   2. They want you to attempt to see their vision and support it – you have not been dumped, you are just as dear now as you ever were.
   3. They want you to stop acting like they have done something to hurt you.  They are trying to build a different kind of life for themselves.  Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it wrong –  enough people out there are already telling them their dreams are crazy and won’t work, they need friends who believe in them.

Balance is a personal thing.  I have time in my morning to go for a bike ride before work.  I am able to fit in lunch when I’m between projects and work through lunch when I choose.  I have obligations to people who are paying me to meet my promises to them on THEIR time-line and it might just mean I have to say no when asked to be part of something, remember, that’s how I get paid. I personally will do what I can to keep in touch, but I don’t always have time for parties and socializing.  I love and adore my friends, and I want them in my life – but life has significantly changed as an entrepreneur.  Yes, my friend, I love you.

What Can You Do?

If you’re asked to partake in something during your work hours, you MUST say no, or your boss won’t keep you very long. An entrepreneur’s work hours can be Friday night, Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon… heck, it could be anytime at any hour and they’re okay with that, because they love what they are doing.  They need to have something ready for a client and must deliver!

If you have an entrepreneur in your life, thank them for being dedicated to their quest, their dream and their vision.  Understand that they still care deeply for you and know that their work may take a few years of driving hard at it before it begins to make that turn-around everyone dreams of.

Please don’t chide them for not attending functions, for not calling every week and for not being an active participant in your playtime.  Friendship isn’t meant to have a score-card, friendship is about support and love and caring.  They’ll be there if you really need them, you only have to ask -but  they may need a little reminder they’re needed as they are immersed in their work and their dream.

I wish to celebrate entrepreneurs everywhere – keep on doing what you are doing, your true friends WILL still be there when you reach that pinnacle of success you’re striving for.  Don’t ever, ever, ever quit because of the pressures those who have never done this before hold over you.  Follow your dream, do what you love to do and keep making a difference in the world.