What can your team trust from you?
Have you ever walked into a place of employment and a co-worker seems to be having a really horrible day? They walk with their shoulders down, cannot FORCE a smile on their face and are unable to speak with much enthusiasm or energy in their voice? You INSTANTLY know something is wrong.
We all have bad days, life hits all of us in ways we least expect. Just when we think we have mastered our insecurities, they will rise up from the ashes like a phoenix rising from the fire.
That’s life.
It’s what we least expect, circumstances changing our lives in a split second or tragedy striking us with unforeseen force. What we seem to forget is that these things happen to all of us. Some in greater degree than others, but overall, life is an ever changing unexpected journey that giggles at our best laid plans.
What strikes me as fascinating, and a study of human nature for many, is the vast difference in the manner in which people RESPOND to those events. One person will have been affected by a tragedy and is empowered to turn it into a motivation to make a difference for others. Another person will experience a similar event and pack it into their curio cabinet of ills and frustrations in life. They’ll take each item out and polish it once a week looking at it and then accumulate more as if they are collecting evidence in a court case.
In a discussion earlier this week with a client, we chatted about emotional intelligence and its connection to both maturity and the ability to develop positive responses. I have a friend named Janine Shepherd, who will be the first person to tell you this;
“Life is ten percent what you take from it and ninety percent what you make of it.”
Janine has experienced a story like few others, (her book ‘Never Tell Me Never’) describes a tragedy striking with brute force and in a split second her entire life changed – without warning or gentility – life tossed her a bigger curve-ball than most of us ever expect to deal with. But with grace, humour and resounding intelligence Janine embraced the life she was gifted and has turned it around into a story few people can walk away from without it inspiring and motivating them to reconsider the manner in which they respond to life’s twists.
There is something about Janine that I noticed right away – breathing air is exhilarating for her. She loves her life and everyone she meets. She enthusiastically approaches her ‘everyday’ with the kind of happiness and enthusiasm one recalls from early childhood. No one would guess that she came back from the verge of leaving this earth, struggling through a full-body cast, learning to take her first painful step after step when she was told she might very well never walk again. If you met Janine you would never guess that her Winter Olympic dreams had been shattered one day by a truck hitting her on a training bike ride.
Meeting Janine (online, not in person yet) was a defining moment in my life, it’s when I experienced another example of true beauty and that is the strength of character to never let anyone tell you who you are or what you cannot do.
She is an exceptional model for leaders who might be tempted, (as I am some days) to allow little things to get to us, and allow our responses to express moping or depressing behaviour. She is a beautiful reminder to me every day that I awake in the mornings breathing air and have a wonderful opportunity to turn my day, my life my experiences into anything I choose.
For leaders this is a powerful message. As a friend I can trust Janine to be strong and courageous and have fun doing it. With 3 additional books and a whole lot of energy, Janine proves to us that the human spirit can choose to take a higher path and present itself to the world in a positive and encouraging way.
Leader, what can your team trust from you?
Patti,
Thanks for this uplifting article. I was intrigued by your ’emotional intelligence’ comment. The more time we spend interpreting life’s challenges with intelligence, the better chance we have at surviving them. Such wisdom we should all practice.
Thanks so much.
-Alice Wilson
http://www.virtualexec-assist.com
Patti-
I know of her story and I am with both you and her!
I believe in a “Think, Feel and Do” model and believe all three are connected. However, as we discussed just today, everyone gets “down” sometimes, even we positive attitudes folks.
The real test of our metal is if we get “back up”, how quickly, and what do we do, positively, with the knowledge we have gained from that experience!
You, too, are a wonderful positive example and LEADER!
Thank you for your post.
Victoria
Victoria,
Thank you for the wonderful comment. I believe there are a lot of people “chasing” happiness with the mistaken understanding that happiness means life is not going to side-swipe us. Reality is much different. Happiness is about how we respond to the things life hands us, what kind of support we seek in making it through tough times – because tough times ARE going to come. It is also about celebrating those times when things are going well and recognizing them. Your “Think, Feel and Do” model is definitely about keeping it real!
Thanks for the wonderful blog posts I have the pleasure of reading as well. [http://www.positiveadaptation.com]